Saturday, September 24, 2005

10:37pm - the time I fell apart.
My day was pretty good.
We went to the Clam Shell in Intramuros to sample "DAVAO".
A sumptuous dinner at Ping Yang in Malate.
Home just in time to watch this on TV 5.
At 10:37 pm, I go online to check my emails.
I felt faint the moment I saw the subject of his email.
I clicked on it and started reading.
"OH MY GOD!!!"
That phrase kept resounding in my mind.
At some point I actually uttered it out loud.
Midway, my eyes well with tears.
I continue reading. Biting my lower lips.
I start to quiver. Then burst out crying.
Somehow I KNEW it would happen.
But I never expected it, this way.
So I was still hopeful.
I feel like I've been hit by a rummaging train.
My dreams, shattered.
My heart, breaking.
Harsh reality, stinging like a bee.
The strange thing is - it has nothing to do with me, at all.
I can imagine his head spinning.
Him totally freaking out.
I feel so sorry for him.
I didn't know if I should reply back.
I didn't know what to tell him.
But I did email after agonising for an hour.
I don't know if my email made any sense.
BUT I do know this news is devastating me.
It would take me a while to recover from the shock. God, help me!

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