Thursday, September 01, 2005

"So what do you do?"
That's the question I dread hearing the most.
Why? Because it triggers my bad mood.
My answer - I'm a freelancer.
They'd retort: "Buti ka pa, sa bahay ka lang."
"Well how nice, you just stay at home"

In principle, I AM a web designer.
I say that because it sounds glamorous.
But I haven't created any websites in ages.
In essence, I'm a work at home typist for an online company. I get assignments on the 1st day of each month. I only get paid for the ones I finish. How many assignments I do depends entirely on me. I submit them on Mondays within a certain time period.
It sounds good on paper.
In theory though it is the complete opposite.
Because working from home means:
I don't have an air conditioned office.
I can't make small talk during coffee breaks.
I don't have a social life.
I can't leave my work at the office.

You see, in the whole scheme of things, I ALSO need to do: The house work. The laundry. Answer phone calls. Pay the bills.
Cook meals. Million never ending tasks.
As well as distractions like film festivals. TV shows. My couch potato habits. Juggling them all together. Time is precious!

My sister also works from home.
The building we live in doesn't have the proper infrastructure for a DSL connnection. So I make do with dial up. I can't go online in case important faxes come in. Thus I work during the wee hours of the morning. I also help her by transcribing her taped interviews. I check her emails when she is out of station. Answer her phone calls. Basically acting as her assistant.

So most of the time, I feel like a zombie.
Not knowing whether I'm coming or going.
Seeing Thursdays morph into Fridays.
The weekends a blur.
It can get pretty overwhelming.
This routinary cacophony of deadlines.
Sleepless nights, eye bags, dry hair, bad skin.

So for people to merely shrug their shoulders to sarcastically tell me "Sa bahay ka lang, parati?". For them to dismiss what I do to earn a living like it isn't a big deal at all.
Well that really really pisses me off.

The truth is I love what I do. I love my life.
And no one has the right to make me feel inadequate. Enough said!!!

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