A few weekends ago, D & I were invited to the baptism/1st birthday party of the son of a co faculty member. These birthday parties are quite fun. There are many games (well for the kids), and of course plenty of food to feast on.
Yet I always feel a bit awkward. It is being quite apparent during these sort of happy occasions that we stand out as the childless couple. It used to be quite exhausting to keep explaining that we don't have kids, not out of choice but out of circumstances which are beyond our control.
Nowadays, I leave it to D to do the 'explaining', I simply smile like I know something they don't. When the truth is I don't really understand why despite our numerous efforts we still haven't been blessed with an offspring.
It has been almost 2 years now that I gave up the 'battle'. There are days when I still wonder if I made the correct decision. Other days, I shrug and accept the fact that we will be a childless couple. While other days (after all, there are 30/31 days in a month!) I still burst into tears whenever I hear that friends and friends of friends are expecting and will soon be mothers.
D has been reassuring me that it is just how life is. We win some, we lose some. But what's important is we remain true to our faith and accept that challenges and struggles are also part of God's plan for us. Amen.