Papal Mania

Ever since His Holiness Pope Francis set foot on Philippine soil in the early evening of January 15, 2015, Thursday, the whole nation has been gripped with excitement. Well, I think even way before his flight landed at Villamor Airbase, we, Catholic Filipinos have been enthusiastically awaiting his Holy presence in our land.  I am filled with a renewed sense of spiritual religiosity as I tune in to the TV and watch the live coverage of his visit here. 

I grew up in a strictly Catholic environment, was educated in institutions steeped in Catholicism and I tried my best to lead a lifestyle befitting a Christian. But after my graduation from the Pontifical University of Santo Tomas in the early 1990s, I strayed from its traditions. The Church was the last place you would see me in during Sundays. I shunned the act of Confession and Communion.  The main reason is I was not worthy of entering a holy place of worship as my lifestyle back then was governed by sinful acts. Let us not enumerate them as they outnumber the 10 Commandments!

Despite my waywardness, I always respected the Pope as the Vicar of Christ and I never shunned what he stood for and what he represented in the grand scheme of things. In fact, in 2001 my sister and I (despite both of us being non Church goers during that period) even stood in line and waved at then Pope and now Saint John Paul II when he blessed the congregation at St. Peter's Square at the Vatican after he said mass. He was waving from the second or fourth floor of the Vatican and you needed a binocular to see him but still a papal blessing is quite sacred and we have never forgotten that encounter.

I started hearing Mass on a regular basis when I began dating my husband in 2007. His idea of a perfect date is to hear mass on Sundays then have lunch together. The first time we ever met (after several months of text messaging) was at the 4:30 pm Sunday mass at the Greenbelt chapel. So I thank God for D as he 'mended' my errant ways, guided and paved my way back into the loving folds of the Catholic Church. Although my sister teasingly tells me it was L-O-V-E that jolted my faith back into life. Heh!

So even though I rather stay home and witness His Holiness' activities on live TV, I still feel truly blessed as this is the closest I can 'get' to the Holy Father. I have to commend the media networks for their comprehensive coverage of the Papal visit.

May God continue to bless the Holy Father as he visits our country. May God give him strength and guidance as he tends to his growing flock by spreading his message of compassion and mercy. 

Photo credits: D's co-faculty who managed to grab a pivotal spot along the Papal route. These photos were taken this morning when Pope Francis was en route to make his courtesy call at Malacanang.

Reflections

It is 1:55 am Thursday morning on the 15th of January and I wanted to write about my 2015 resolutions when I realized by being awake at this hour, I already broke one of them.

As most people, my list include the usual resolutions such as eating healthy and nutritious food, try to find some time to exercise (the keyword here is 'try'), sleep early, write more (especially on my blogs) to develop my intellect, read more books, watch films at the cinema.

Yet by the 15th day of 2015, I have already reneged on about 80% of the items I listed above ... great!  But naturally, I can say don't be too hard on yourself, you still have 11 months to go - there is still time.

But the glaring truth is well there isn't enough time. For most of 2014, I was cooped up in hospital rooms taking care of either my sister or my mother and this really put me in quite a pensive and reflective mood and I realize that life is indeed short.

During this particular Yuletide holidays, I've seen how frail and fragile my parents are now in their late 70s as they struggled during long walks, had difficulty climbing stairs and would tire easily. As I sort through the numerous pictures taken during our trip, I notice a certain fatigue behind their smiling faces and it tugs at my heartstrings.

In this regard, I now know that resolutions are meant to be broken, that wishes and desires often never get fulfilled and frustration sets in like angry waves crashing against the shore.

Therefore, I resolve to stop questioning my purpose in life and stop self doubt from overpowering my judgement as well as to treat each dawning day as a blessing and be grateful for life, itself.

HK Revisited

After my sister's surgery (Oct. 23, 2014) was deferred because she developed a cold, our Yuletide plans were kept on hold. Last November 4, she was wheeled back into the hospital room after almost 6 hours on the operating table. We spent 5 nights at the hospital as she slowly recovered. A couch and a chair were our only places for rest and naturally sleep was hard to come by. 

It was nearly a month after the surgery that my sister decided she was 'strong' enough to travel. By that time, airfares were quite expensive, traffic jams were horrific, but we set our minds to go through with our Yuletide vacation.

In fact things got so hectic, I developed dizzy spells and my blood pressure shot up so high after one whole day of last minute shopping for our trip. I was rushed to the ER of a hospital but after a blood test, ECG and xRay - they didn't find anything wrong and I was discharged and merely advised to rest and take it easy.

When we were safely tucked in our plane seat on that Sunday morning (December 14) I was able to take a deep breath and resolved to enjoy our much deserved break. We landed in HK around 30 minutes past noon so we proceeded to have a light meal (lunch was served on the plane) at the Crystal Jade located in the massive and very conventionally functional HK International Airport.

Upon arriving at my sister's flat, we were so fatigued we hardly went out and we did a lot of sleeping for the first 3 - 4 days we were there. Then it was time to explore the sights and I noticed that this year they had less Christmas decors. I even read an article which basically said that they should not 'celebrate' Western holidays perhaps this explains the subdued tone of the city state. Nevertheless, we did find some Christmas trees here and there which added some festive cheer to the very nice cold climate.

We also got to eat at all our faves places to dine in HK. Cuisine ranged from Vietnamese, Mongolian, Japanese, Belgian and Western fare. Naturally, we had our share of dimsum, dumplings and wanton soups.  All of them were delicious and yummy! By the end of the trip, my pants were tight and I had to adjust the belt of my jeans.

I better get some sleep before my tummy grumbles from hunger.

More soon!

First post for 2015

I've been back from our long vacay in HK for 3 days now and I am still in a daze. The vacation itself was so much fun mostly due to the cold/chilly climate (which I adore) as we spent 3 weeks in the island state.  D was able to get an early Christmas break so off we went.

Oh but before I forget, my sister's surgery was successful (to say the least) as it was postponed from the original date of October 23 to November 4. 2014.  Even though the hysterectomy was a success, sad to say they discovered another medical condition called diverticulitis while she was on the operating table. Unfortunately, this condition also requires surgery but right now she is still in the recovery stage and needs to heal completely. It seems there is no end to her health woes but with prayers and medications she retains a positive outlook for 2015.

I am still in the process of unpacking, cleaning the entire house, sorting through things that need to be thrown away as well as sorting out the numerous pictures we took during our trip to both HK and Macau.

After all, it would give me a good excuse to resume blogging and resuscitate this blog.  Give me a few days and I vow to return with posts and pictures to boot!

In the meantime, I wish you all the best for 2015.  

Some random thoughts after turning forty six

I was really glad that D liked the birthday surprise treat I planned for his milestone birthday. A weekend staycation of R & R. 

A few days later it was my dearest sister's turn to add another year to her age. We had fun, food and family bonding moments to mark the occasion.

A month into D's fifth decade, he got really sick with symptoms of the flu. Marked with high fever and the chills, yet he was being very stubborn about going to the hospital. Thankfully after almost a week he recovered and was restored back to his healthy disposition. But it goes without saying that I was beyond myself with anxiety and worries and I had to summon all the saints to make me strong to endure the ordeal.

On the other end of the spectrum, my sister is back in town and her surgery has been scheduled for this Thursday. It has been hectic prepping for all the tests she needs to undergo before the operation.

But she took a much needed time off to celebrate my 46th birthday, yesterday. Truth be told I was not in the mood to feast as D had sustained an ankle injury a few days ago. His right leg is terribly swollen, and his mobility is greatly limited.

But birthdays have always been a big deal in our family so naturally I put on my happy hat and a smile on my haggard face to enjoy my 46th year. Never mind that we spent half the day at a clinic for a doctor to examine the hubby's swollen ankle. The power of persuasion worked this time as he finally agreed to go to a doctor.

Now as the surgery is just a few days away, I'm really scared and fearful especially when my sister gives me a notebook listing down all her personal belongings, stuff like bank accounts records and her important documents etc. I know she is just being realistic but it certainly is not easy to put up a stoic stance and not show any emotions.

It seems like all I've done nowadays is ... worry, worry and worry some more. I stay up at nights and my mind wanders into dark places that offers no comfort. I'm weary but certainly not tired of assuming my caregiver role over and over again.

Since I have to admit, there are still some instances and glimmers of hopeful anticipation! So much so that I can't help but still be enormously grateful for the abundant blessings I enjoy and continue to cherish.

On that note, my 46-year-old self says: 

An update is in order

I can't believe it has been over a month since I've posted an entry on my now fully neglected blog. It makes me sad to see how bereft "My Little Moments" looks every time I open it.  Then I realize hey I'm the author of that sad, pathetic and lonely blog so it is entirely my fault it looks so abandoned.

Well since my last entry, my dad turned a year older (August 22).  He doesn't really ask for much just that we meet up for lunch, all be merry and celebrate his birthday. We had Singaporean fare for lunch and Persian cuisine for dinner. 

September rolled in and the climate has been a tad cooler.  I notice this as I don't perspire as much as before although I still sweat (but that is a given!) no matter what.   Strange!  I chalk it up to the tons of fertility drugs I had to take back then. Never mind that it was like almost 2 years ago. I believe the 'drugs' messed up my body system and all those toxins manifest themselves through my pores by means of perspiration.  Weird theory, I know but that is how I logically explain my very active sweat glands. 

The second week of the ninth month, we had to rush Mom to the ER as she had another severe asthma attack aggravated from a very bad cough. Seeing her hooked up to an oxygen tank and a nebulizer to control her breathing is always very hard to fathom. She has aged a lot recently and has been quite frail (lost her appetite and barely eats!).  

I can handle physically taking care of her, feeding her, giving her medicines and just looking after her welfare.  But the emotional and psychological part is where I am weak. It is very difficult for me to see my mother who was once a very vibrant and fashionable lady become so frail.  But I needed to be strong and not show any signs of emotions yet every night in the darkness of my room, I would sob uncontrollably just to release the heaviness and tension I felt from the emotional pain. D keeps telling me it is a reality we need to accept as both my parents are in their late 70s. But it is a very emotionally charged reality and one I can never truly embrace with an open heart. 

Speaking of D, he is turning FIFTY (50!) this coming weekend (September 28). I planned a staycation for both of us so he can just chill and relax. He made me promise that (1) there won't be any singing of happy birthday from the service crew where we will dine and (2) it would just be immediate family, period!  Sure sure ok so I had to comply as I still want to be a happily married wife. He he he   So I am keeping it simple as simple as his no-fuss attitude in life possible. 

Next month - I am looking forward to my sister's visit BUT I am certainly not going to enjoy seeing her in the hospital as she might schedule her much postponed hysterectomy during her visit. It all depends on her check up, though!

Also I'm turning 46, heh!

I'm not sure if I can update as frequently so I want to but I will pop in every now and then ... until then ... you all take care, be safe and God bless!

August

It is the 6th of August in the year 2014 at half past eleven in the morning. It is the first time in weeks since the sun has made an appearance. It is the monsoon season, after all.  But boy has the weather been so bleak and gloomy, it affected my mood. It also ruins my errands days so I've had to adjust or limit time spent outdoors lest I get caught in horrendous traffic just to make it safely home.

I tell you once you are stuck in 4 hours of traffic just to get home which is just a short distance from my point of origin - factor in the amount of time I had to stand in queue at the taxi stand - you feel like strangling the person who coined the term  "It is more fun in the Philippines"!!!

Aside from that, I've been saddled with joint aches and pains. Some which lasted a day, others several days but nothing that an ointment or a pain reliever won't heal. I guess it is part of aging gracefully. 

In conclusion, it only seemed like yesterday when it was the scorching month of May that befell us. Now it is the rainy month of August already. Wow time sure flies by so fast, I tell you! 

A son's farewell

My mother in law passed away last July 13, 2014 past noon in California. 

It was early morning Monday and I was awake and watching the last few minutes of the World Cup finals between Germany and Argentina. 

Germany won and just as I posted on Facebook my joy at their triumphant win, I received a message about the sad news from my sister in law.

My mother in law was 83 years old and lived a full and colorful life. She is survived by her 3 children and their spouses and her 8 grandkids.

Since my husband is the only one who lives here in the Philippines and it isn't easy to procure a US visa at the drop of a hat ... he just composed an eulogy for his mother which was read at her viewing last night.

First of all, good evening to everyone who are here and in one way or another have that special bond or relationship with our dearly departed mother. 

We deeply regret that we are not able to personally join our family and friends in paying our last respects for Mama. As much as I, as a son, and my wife Net would have wanted to come, it is no secret that it isn’t easy to secure a visa to the United States. 

A visa allowing a person to enter the United States, especially if that person comes from the Philippines has become one of the hardest things to achieve in one’s lifetime as a Filipino. Not even a demise of a close relative or a dear loved one can be enough reason to acquire that elusive US visa. 

Well, it’s a good thing one only needs a visa to enter the United States and that, it’s not a requirement in going to Heaven. It is very comforting to know that in all the sufferings of our Lord Jesus Christ, each and every one of us automatically acquired a visa to enter Heaven in the goodness of God. So all of us have the assurance that our Mama De as our mother was affectionately called by most family and friends, will get her new visa, and new citizenship, once God’s angels guide her, to the immigration officer named Peter.

Our mom would never be our mom without her devotion to the Black Nazarene in Quiapo Church. Whenever she finds the opportunity to visit the Philippines, she would practically make time to go to Quiapo Church almost every day. Quiapo Church and the Black Nazarene for her was a lifetime devotion. In fact, even when it was already a struggle for her to travel, she would always insist to my sister Ate Min and Jun our younger brother that she wants to come home so she could visit the Black Nazarene in Quiapo.

Now, there’s no need for her, for our Mama De, to come home.

She’s home.

Ma, we will all miss you. We give our thanks to God for choosing you in bringing us your children and grandkids in this world to partake of the precious life that He has given to us all. 

Enjoy now the eternal light of God and His eternal peace. We love you.

Rest in peace, Mama De.