Saturday, September 22, 2012

Your place or my place?

A nasty separation has forced a good friend of mine to throw himself into the dating world, yet again. Faced with the nagging thought of being alone, he finally dust the cobwebs off himself and decided to explore what's out there.

No sooner had he taken two steps out when he suddenly realized how daunting this task was going to be.  A separated father of one in his late 40s is not an attractive tagline to put on a dating site. But he thought what the heck, he might as well be honest than pretend to be someone else.

In his emails, he mostly laments how frustrating it is to find someone who didn't mind his extra baggage, let alone someone who shared his interests.  One would think that with all these social media sites available at one's disposal, it would make things quite easy but it has its pitfalls too. 

It seems that when one doesn't immediately connect with another person on a certain level, it would be quite easy to just move on to the next person in the 'list' of potential prospects.  There is a prevailing sense of detachment that crops up to serve as a buffer so people tend to be less invested in commitments.

For the life of me, I cannot fathom the idea of going out there at our age. The stress and anxiety one has to go through the motions of  presenting your best foot forward. The rigors of thinking what to wear for first dates, then the never ending waiting game for the other party to set another date, the text messages that get ignored, the phone calls that are never answered. But worse of all, that ache in your tummy that signifies rejection.

I've had my share of flings, long distance relationships and broken heart episodes complete with sleepless nights and crying woes. All these experiences turned me into a bitter person but I was still a 'hopeful' romantic as opposed to a hopeless one.

So I consider myself truly lucky I found my significant other at the ripe old age of 39.   4 years down the line, we might not have the perfect marriage but nothing compares to the sweet sensation of waking up next to someone every morning. 

I fervently wish my good friend all the best in his quest to find his special someone, but I'm also very grateful I don't have to go through anxious first date moments ever again. 

2 comments:

Photo Cache said...

Lately I've only been hearing hookups made thru online dating sites. And I mean hookups that involve I Dos. It somehow eases my uneasiness about this type of medium to find partners.

DaPHne LAura said...

Yes I'm positive there are successful matches made from online dating sites.
It is just a matter of finding the right one in a long string of potentials. Being patient, diligent and using one's mind instead of one's heart are the key elements to succeed.

That's my belief based on personal experiences. :D