Sunday, July 10, 2005

Dis moi pourquoi?
Alright I'm in a bad mood so allow me to just lash out. Isn't that what blogs are for? An outlet to air out our grievances!
Anyways, I was going to gripe about something.


How can I rant about the 'unexplainable'?
Why is the sky blue?
Why does it rain (sometimes) when the sun is shining?
Why do people just stop communicating?

Endless speculations.
Was it something I said?
Was it something I didn't say?
Did I reveal too much?
Open ended questions.
Never to be answered.

A friend told me - "Everything happens for a reason".
I saw the movie "Wicker Park" last weekend. It does affirm the above statement. In the film, the woman in the lead character's life suddenly just 'vanishes' for no apparent reason. Later on, we figure out the scenario which led to the abandonment. 2 years later they end up with each other so a happy ending.
Yes surely I know it is only a freaking movie.

My point is YES ... There was ...
A reason why 'a certain someone' disappeared from my life.
A reason why 'another someone' stopped emailing me.
A reason why 'somebody' didn't show up for our blind date.
A reason why 'yet another somebody' ended our correspondence.

But tell me why do I feel so rejected?

This pattern of "non closure" makes me wish eternally for peace of mind. I hope it is within my grasp. Only time will tell if I can truly reach my goal. My aim to be completely detached and comfortably numb.
The art of stoicism, I so long for.


Je Ne Suis Que Moi
Je suis humaine, j'ai mes problemes
Et aussi mes desirs
Comment je pourrais parvenir
A t'expliquer mes raisons
Mais je suis humaine, pas magicienne
Est-ce que tu comprends ca ?
Je ne suis que ... je ne suis que moi
Est-ce que tu comprends ca?

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