Wednesday, February 21, 2007

40 days and 40 nights
Today is Ash Wednesday which signals the start of the Lenten Season in the Roman Catholic faith. I certainly am not a religious person but I like to think I am spiritually sound in mind and body. Aside from the fact that I don't eat 'meat' on Fridays, I have also always sacrificed something for Lent - be it chocolates (one of the causes of my acne break out), Diet Coke (I used to drink 1 can daily), chatting online (I am a chat addict), saying bad words (not that I curse like Tony Soprano but still!) and a couple of 'sins' I won't mention in this PG rated blog.

This year after much reflection, I've decided to give up blogging. Did I hear you say - "oh geez Daph, now that's preposterous!" Well, I'm supposed to sacrifice something addictive, something I can't do without on a daily basis so what better way to test my 'faith' than to stop posting for a certain period? I figure I can pass this challenge easily, judging by my lack of inspiration lately to post daily on this blog.

Truth be told, these past few weeks I haven't been my usual cheery and stay positive self. I hardly get any sleep (I know that isn't news) and my mind is troubled. No, it has nothing to do with some guy or should I say the lack of a guy, any guy in my life. My zero love life doesn't bother me one single bit, whether you believe that or not, it's the truth.
I'm guessing it has more to do with trying to discover my true calling in life, to figure the direction my life should take. The key word here is 'guessing' because I really don't know what is wrong with me. Somehow I think that turning the big 4-0 next year plays an important part in my insouciance.

I thought that indulging in some pampering would ease my ennui. Yesterday, I went to the salon for a new style of haircut. Oh, don't worry I didn't do a Britney Spears (read: go bald) I may be troubled but I'm not raving mad to part with my thick mane. A not too short hairdo which accentuates my curls instead of taming them. Then I went for a soothing massage. It felt blissful. I was totally relaxed for a few minutes. Then I made the mistake of watching "The Fountain" and boy did I get back into the "something-is-wrong-with-my-life-but-I-don't-know-what-it-is" mode faster than I can count from one to ten in French. Oh don't get me wrong, I loved the movie! I mean wow it was totally mind boggling in a profound way. But it was a bit too much to absorb while I was spacing out like the space shuttle in orbit.

I feel that some time out is necessary. My sister and I are going to Tagaytay later this week for some R & R. It might do me some good to have some peace and quiet to reflect without feeling the need to 'stay connected' 24/7.

This blog would be on a hiatus during this Lenten season. However, I would still read the blogs I visit regularly as well as post intermittently at my other blogs. The ones which generate income from ads because I may be questioning the fundamentals of my life but I still need to pay the insurmountable bills. Now you are saying "But Daph, that's cheating!" (Yes, I like to think my readers talk back when they read my post ha!) I don't think so. Whatever. It's my sacrifice so I will set my own terms and conditions. Fair enough?

So maybe I'll see you all sometime in April. Maybe not. I don't know. I do know I should stop obsessing over what to blog about when surely my life isn't as exciting as it used to be nor as exciting as I hoped it would be.

A bientot! =)

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