Monday, November 12, 2007

Formality's sake
D and I have been talking about marriage on and off the past few months. But I haven't had the chance to officially tell my parents about our plans. They aren't the type of parents who would question me openly about the state of my relationships. I guess they trust me enough to do the right thing so I've never discussed any of my romantic relationships with them. Well yesterday, we finally had the courage to formally announce our engagement/plans to settle down.

The night before, D and I rehearsed a number of scenarios on how to introduce the topic over lunch. Some were downright funny, others were silly, most were serious. I stressed myself out, kept tossing and turning in bed which prevented me from getting a good night sleep. I woke up early (for me anyway) barely ate my breakfast, took a quick shower then went to hear the 11 AM Sunday mass at the Edsa Shrine with my parents and D. I couldn't concentrate and broke out in a cold sweat (yes I know the church is air conditioned but still you know what I mean), several times.

My brilliant idea was to tell my parents during lunch at Teriyaki Boy. You know during that lull when we wait for our orders to arrive. But we couldn't do it. Blah. Ha ha ha! We ordered, the food came in rapid succession. We ate, glanced at each other sheepishly, ate some more (well I barely touched my food, preferring instead to drown myself with iced tea) talked about everything under the sun except the main issue at hand! My hands were literally shaking and my stomach was in knots. I was a nervous wreak. Occasionally, D and I would look at each other, smile and secretly hoped the other one would finally blurt it out to end our misery.

After the waiter cleared our table of our plates, I took a big gulp of my iced tea, took a very deep breath, looked my mother straight in the eyes and finally just blurted it out. "Ah Ma, Dad we have something to announce. We are planning to get married na next year!" *Big smile* My parents had this blank look on their face like my statement didn't register. D quickly said something to support my announcement. To say they were surprised is an understatement but they welcomed the good news with glee. My father gave the thumbs up sign. My mother was in shock and tried desperately not to cry as we were in a public place. Later that night, my parents kept saying that the announcement was slowly sinking in like some sort of delayed reaction. But the feedback has been mostly positive. I guess it has to do with the fact they like D immensely for he has always accorded them the respect they deserve.

After that announcement, I felt tremendous relief like a huge burden was taken off my chest. The interrogation part though started in the car and went on high alert when we got home. It was further compounded when I went online to read websites on the numerous requirements even for a simple Church wedding. D keeps telling me to relax and not stress myself out he will help me with everything but I can't really help it, I'm a worry wart, remember?

But overall, my parents are very enthusiastic, quite excited and have given me their full support. My beloved sister is the only one who dares to ask the hard nosed questions. She raises the issues I've been desperately trying to sweep under the rug, so to speak. She does have very valid concerns. I truly understand where she is coming from. I like to believe she merely means well and in due time I hope she would eventually ease up on me and D. But don't get me wrong, she is also very supportive. She serves as my shock absorber, my anchor and my rock. I know I can depend on her for anything, anytime, anywhere, forever!

I am currently a ball filled with mixed emotions. I'm ready, happy, confident, panic stricken, apprehensive and fearful yet I've never been more sure about finally finding the person I will grow old with. D has been such a wonderful supportive presence in my life and I couldn't ask for more! He was the one who pointed out that yesterday, November 11 was our 5th month anniversary. I was so stressed and freaked out I totally forgot about it.

Now excuse me as I finally have some private alone time so I can have a good cry over this whole thing. You know just to let it all sink in, cry away my worries, my fears and of course some happy tears as well.

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