Monday, April 28, 2008

This is my 1000th post!
Well OK considering the fact that there were give or take a few several posts motivated by my need to earn extra income, it doesn't change the fact that I've written 1000 entries in this blog.

I was urged by my cousin to join the blogging bandwagon since he knew I was a highly opinionated person. My first post was dated December 8, 2003. It was the Yuletide season so I had a lot of merry, cheerful things to say. Looking back at my archives, my most prolific month was May 2004 when I posted 54 entries! Phew.

Then I went through a phase where all I posted were memes for every single day of the week. That was probably the time when I thought that my life wasn't blog worthy so I bored my very few readers (if any at all during that time) with all sorts of memes.

I snapped out of it and churned out really bitter, sarcastic posts because I was dealing with another achy breaky heart moment. I was hurt and mourning over the demise of a long distance relationship which truth be told I didn't expect to get far but nonetheless I felt that I had the right to grieve over it.

From being cynical and sarcastic, I developed a carefree attitude. My inner self scoffing at whatever life presented me at that time. My favorite word was "whatever". I wasn't particularly pleased with myself but neither was I totally dejected with life. It was a 'bahala na' phase.

Luckily, I once again snapped out of that yet another direction less mode. This time with conviction and a firm resolve - I decided to love myself more. Make myself get out of bed with a smile and face each day as it dawned. Never mind if there wasn't any concrete reason, basta I was just happy to be alive. I started counting my blessings more and chose to focus more on the positive aspects instead of harping endlessly over things I couldn't have and never will have and in the process attract really negative vibes.

Then I reconnected with D and suddenly everything seemed inconsequential in comparison to his ever positive attitude. My complete change is something I attribute to being inflicted by a contagious disease but in a good way. I got hooked by his charms, his God fearing ways, his sense of humor, his pleasing personality well everything about him, really.


It was around this time last year when I 'met' D and now nothing else seems to matter. In a few days time, we will be husband and wife. There are still a lot of loose ends to tie vis a vis our wedding as well as getting our apartment ready. Sometimes it seems there isn't enough hours in the day. But amidst all these chaotic and anxious moments, I have never once lost focus of the fact that I am really really really lucky to have found him. The one person who makes me feel that after leading a nomadic lifestyle, drifting aimlessly now finally I have a purpose. I am home! A special place to cradle my heart. A nest to firmly grow roots one little (soon to be married) moment at a time. =)

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