Monday, October 25, 2010

In the Doldrums

A certain listless sense of ennui has enveloped me for the past 3 weeks or maybe even longer than that. And being sick twice in 1 month doesn't help, at all. Of course no one wants to get the sniffles but for me it is doubly difficult. I seem to go through a really horrible cycle of very bad colds with fever which eventually turn into a dry whooping cough that feels like someone has stepped on my constricted chest.

I can't function properly. I lose my appetite. Sleeping is a major discomfort. Then add in the never pleasant monthly visitor that totally drains me physically and mentally. In short, I haven't been my usual happy go lucky self. And truthfully it sucks big time.

I don't like feeling this way. It makes me contemplate more that I need to. I worry about a million things. I get overtly emotional. I would suddenly just break down and cry for no apparent reason. And during the most ill opportune moments too!

For instance at the supermarket while grocery shopping. Certainly strange but mostly embarrassing to say the least. How would you react if you saw a grown woman burst into tears at the produce section? Probably think she was a lunatic or an escaped mental patient, right?

During my birthday, I had a good excuse not to celebrate - it was stormy. But truthfully I was not in the mood to be all cheerful and happy just because I happened to turn a year older. I'm too fatigued to psycho analyze myself. I just want to get my groove back!

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