Eighty Seven

Mommy would have been 87 years old today, May 30.

Even though 3 years have passed since she left us.

We still celebrate her birthday.

I'd say her 'earthly' birthday because I see some people would post on social media
greeting their dearly departed relatives with 'happy birthday in heaven'.

For me, I don't really know if they still celebrate birthdays in heaven.

Or if they are even in heaven.

No one knows really.

All I know is that I miss her and Dad terribly.

D and I visited their graves at Loyola in Sucat, Paranaque then we ate at Little Quiapo which is a quaint restaurant in the BF Homes area. An eatery famous for tasty pancit palabok and halo halo. Since I am watching my sugar intake, we did not order any desserts.

Comida China - plate combo of fried rice, lumpiang shanghai, pancit canton
and fried chicken

Mommy loved eating pancit of any variety and she would cook really delicious pancit bihon with minimal ingredients yet it was very flavorful.

I have tried a couple of times to cook her style of pancit bihon but there was always something amiss. Either it was too bland or it was too salty. But I will keep trying, if only to keep her memory alive.

A few months before she died, she was bedridden, with loads of painkillers in her system. She would talk but it was gibberish as the brain tumor affected her speech. Out of the blue, she sang in a clear voice the song "You are my sunshine".  I now associate this song with her. I still cry sometimes when I hear it on Youtube or the radio. Lately though, it serves as a sign that she is watching over us. 

It is the lil things such as a sudden breeze when I am all sweaty during my walks. Or I would find a 500 pesos bill in one of my pockets when I am cash strapped. Or I would add an ingredient while I was cooking that I suddenly remembered she would use on the dish I was cooking. 

It is difficult to explain really but I firmly believe and feel her presence is always with me, in everything I do. 

Love and miss you, Ma.