A Year-Ender Survey
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
I had a facial

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't keep them and I won't make any for next year!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Carr

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
Singapore and Thailand

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Sex

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 8, 2004 - I broke up with Iyad
April 11, 2004 - Easter Sunday my father suffered a mild stroke

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hmm I have no idea

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't think of them as failures just charge them to experience!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just the occasional sniffles

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Some device which irons my hair straight LOL

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My sister for pursuing her Masters in International Relations

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A friend who keeps borrowing money from me

14. Where did most of your money go?
trip to Singapore & Bangkok

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The trip because my father was well enough to travel with us after his mild stroke

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
"The Reason" - Hoobastank

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. Happier or sadder? sadder
ii. Thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. Richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Dating

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinate

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Heard Mass at 10pm Christmas eve
Then pigged out and got drunk.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004? I love someone but I'm not in love with him

23. How many one-night stands?
None

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Amazing Race

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No

26. What was the best book(s) you read?
The Day after Tomorrow - Allan Folsom; Angels and Demons - Dan Brown;
Light at Dusk - Peter Gadol; The Brotherhood of the Rose - David Morrell

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Patricia Kass

28. What did you want and got?
an out of town trip for my birthday

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Before Sunset

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my 36th natal day, I was at Caylabne Bay Resort
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had someone I could confide to in real life

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Always in jeans and t-shirts

34. What kept you sane?
Chatting with E

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hugh Grant

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The death of Yasser Arafat - I don't know why!

37. Who did you miss?
Iyad

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Dennis

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Love is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,
it's only special when you give it to someone who is worth it.
So take your time and choose the best.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Close your eyes so you don't feel them
They don't need to see you cry

Vindication
Alrighty then so this article proves I'm not crazy! Phew!

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Women who are distraught after breaking up with a romantic partner show brain changes that are not seen in women less upset by a romantic rift, researchers report.

Specifically, women who said they were particularly upset about the breakup showed greater decreases in brain activity in brain regions associated with emotion, motivation and attention while thinking sad thoughts about their former partners.

Emotion, motivation and attention are "all factors that go awry in depression and now, it appears grief as well," Dr. Jeffrey P. Lorberbaum told Reuters Health.

"We speculate that brain regions involved in emotion, motivation and attention regions are impaired with severe grief," said Lorberbaum, at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston.

These findings may provide clues to how the brain processes extreme sadness, and how that sadness can sometimes lead to depression, he added. "If we can first understand the brain basis of grief then we eventually might be able to help those who are disabled by grief, as well as understand how depression gets triggered."

In the American Journal of Psychiatry, Lorberbaum and his colleagues suggest that depression may sometimes occur when the brain becomes unable to properly handle sadness, separation or grief.

To investigate further how the brain responds to grief, the investigators performed brain scans on nine women dealing with feelings surrounding a breakup that occurred within the previous 4 months, involving a romantic relationship that lasted at least 6 months.

All of the participants were having trouble getting over the relationship, the authors note -- perhaps feeling as if they can't get the person out of their head, or still feeling sad.

During the study, the researchers noted women's brain activity when they thought sad thoughts about their former partner and compared it to the activity seen when they thought neutral thoughts about a person they had known for the same amount of time.

Immediately after the breakup, all women said they had experienced some symptoms of depression, although most added that the symptoms had started to fade after 2 weeks. At the time of the study, only one person was suffering full-blown depression.

Lorberbaum and his colleagues found that women who were grieving the most from the breakup showed the greatest decreases in brain activity in brain regions associated with emotion, motivation and attention while thinking sad thoughts about the ex-partner.

Additional research is needed to shed light on how normal sadness, grief and depression are related, the authors note.

SOURCE: American Journal of Psychiatry, December 2004.

Angst of an insomniac couch potato
Usually the highlight of my day would be unwinding in front of the TV absorbing whatever tickles my fancy.
On Tuesdays, my mindframe is set on Sex and the City.
Last night I was very keen on watching the first part of the series final episode.
A few minutes into the show, pfffft the TV goes blank.
Thinking my fat ass had accidentally switched the TV off, I grabbed the remote to change channels.
Horror of horrors ... all the channels were gone.
Hyperventilating I waited a few more minutes in case it was just a glitch.
Panicking since it had been already 10 minutes, I rushed upstairs to call the lobby and was informed the whole building was now TV cable less.
I tried calling Home Cable's 24 hour hotline but the line was busy.
My next option was to call my parents to check if their cable was off too but it was already late and I knew they would be in dreamland by then.
So yeah I missed seeing Mr Big.
I missed watching Carrie frolicking in Paris.
I missed viewing Paris, my favorite city in the whole wide world.
I must now wait for the rerun which according to the website is early morning Friday (New Year's Eve)
I was livid, I was pissed
But it was still too early for an insomniac to go to bed.
So I was forced by my sister to join her in viewing all 3 installments of a movie I didn't really give a damn about.
But she insisted that since I was into computer codes and programs ... I COULD appreciate it.
So I ENDURED almost 6 hours of The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions!!!
So although I did find the stunts and all those CGI enhanced sequences quite impressive, I still cannot understand the whole premise behind it.
Sci-fi has never been my genre of movies.

Oh I just checked the telly ... Guess what?
We still don't have cable!
So I'll end this post by quoting the Merovingian(Matrix Reloaded):
"I love French wine, like I the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'encule de ta mere. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it."

I'm cursing Home Cable to high heavens!

An inspirational quote
Everybody Knows

You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So?

You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of being
YOU.

And then?

You will have learned to accept your own
uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities
and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself
the respect that is due.
And you'll be the most unique
and happy human being.

Always Believe

That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than right, it's your duty
to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve,
but a gift to cherish.
And you'll always be able to stay one up
on what used to get you down!

Hello good morning happy day
Hello good morning happy day
the sun shine is peering through my window.
Hello ... Hello ... Happy Day!

Yes bright and cheerful morning to one and all.
Surprise surprise I'm up early today!

Mornings like these I get sentimental and over emote.

But first I uttered a silent prayer for all those people misplaced in Real Quezon after the devastating typhoons.
The people who perished in that earthquake in Sumatra, Indonesia.
The people who were caught in those towering tsunami waves in Sri Lanka, India and Thailand.
I hope before the year ends, we will be spared from the wrath of Mother Nature.

Then I was grateful:
that Christmas went by without any incident.
that I had food to feast on.
that I had wine to drink.
that I have shelter.
that I had good friends greet me.
that I received e-cards.
that I got SMS from people I haven't heard from in ages.
that I have Mirc.
that we do not really get what we want but life is still good.

Just so grateful.

Quotable quote
In this joyous season of merrymaking and endless parties, remember this:
"Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator."

Although it's been said many times many ways
Merry Christmas to YOU

Hahaha ... hohoho ... hehehe

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