Saturday, March 13, 2010


I've been under a tremendous amount of stress, lately. I also haven't been sleeping well. Probably due to the heat, the pesky neighbors and their incessant din, the fact that there is now a TV in our bedroom or the nightmares where I am either abandoned, neglected or flat out isolated.

Then there is the gut wrenching feeling that I am simply running out of time in the motherhood aspect of my life. Sure I'm under medication and the treatments seem to be positive but still I feel like somehow I'm being punished for not wanting it hard enough for it to be fulfilled. *Gasps* Adding to my woes are more computer problems and I am this close to throwing it out of the window buti na lang there are grills on our window so that is not a possibility even if I feel the urge to do so.

I try desperately to find solace in meditation and silent prayers. Or just numb the feeling by watching mindless reality TV shows like "The Real Housewives of OC" and "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami". They are my guilty pleasures and I get a kick watching them play out their ostentatious yet vulgar lives on TV. They are bratty, catty and quite bi*chy to each other. Such fun! Hehe

I keep telling myself that "this too shall pass" or reassure myself that I'm strong enough to hurdle these constant challenges which keep cropping up. Otherwise life would be pretty boring if everything came up roses most if not all of the time, right?

Please agree!

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