Monday, February 20, 2012


I seem to have temporarily lost my blogging mojos thus the intermittent blog posts. I still have a couple of post re our HK trip but sorting through tons of pictures to figure out which ones to feature is very time consuming so I am procrastinating.

The other afternoon while drinking some peppermint tea, a random thought entered my mind. I was thinking here we are about to enter our 4th year of marriage this coming May and we haven't really made 'pundar' for anything concrete. By the way, 'pundar' is the vernacular term for the act of saving for the future.

We were already well established and set in our ways when we got hitched. I was 39 and D was 44 years old! When we moved into our conjugal home, we had our own set of furniture (bed, closets, book selves), appliances (TV, iron, electric fans, stove), gadgets, kitchen wares and personal effects. The only brand new item was a refrigerator which was a wedding present from my parents. In short, we didn't really dip too deep into our meager savings to set up our married life.

So while other married people tend to make pundar to be able to buy their own houses/condo units, cars, the education of their kids as well as save up for their retirement, D & I just take each day as it comes with nary a thought on the state of our finances.

During the first 2 1/2 years of our marriage, most of our income went into fertility meds/treatments. It really drained our finances as well as put a strain on our mental well being. Eventually, it felt more like a tedious chore than something worth fighting for. So we, well *I* abandoned the whole process. I just gave up and stopped trying. It was driving me insane. Perhaps I can be called a weakling for giving up, but unless you've lived through the hell I went through, you cannot really understand how it feels. Anyhoo, trust me, I'm at a much better place now.

As we sail into our 4th year, I believe it is never too late to start a new venture, so I've decided to start saving, period. That way I can sleep with ease at nights and not stay up until the wee hours of the morning in a constant state of worry!


kayni said...

I don't think you're a weakling at all. I "kinda" understand the ups and downs in dealing with health challenges; although I know we're dealing with completely different things. But I do get the emotional roller coaster too. I just had my blood drawn today and I'm low again so imagine how terrible I felt. Sometimes, I keep asking when will this end, or when will I be "just" normal again. Perhaps this is one reason why I've been looking for stuff to keep me busy like school and beading. BUT, you're a strong woman and don't let your bad experiences define you.

Daphn3 LaurA said...

Thanks Kayni. Yes although we are experiencing two very different procedures, I'd say we are in the same boat when it comes to the surge of emotions which I think are much tougher to contend with than the physical tests.

But you are a tough cookie as well so hang in there! I'm confident you are facing your challenges head on and with much resilience. Kudos to you for not giving up.

But believe me I'm in a much better place now, with acceptance slowly but surely easing in. :)