Wake me up when September ends
Not that I would be slacking off and sleeping. On the contrary, I'm up to my eyeballs with work. My assignments as well as helping with my sister's work load.
Transcribing those audio tapes can be quite irritating. I have to figure out what is being said in the interviews amidst the background noise of cellphones, coffee cups clicking and other various sounds. It feels like it is droning into my brain cells - it is exhausting me physically as well as mentally.

This inner emotional turmoil is eating me up too. It has been almost a year since I 'confessed' my feelings to him. We both share the same sentiments on a wide variety of subjects like relationships, books, films even the way we interact with society. But neither is willing to bridge the distance. We are just too set in our ways. So I gave up, I figured it wasn't worth stressing over. I just coast along bringing myself to get over my feelings. It was tough, in fact it is still a struggle each day. I guess it doesn't help that I exchange emails with him every single day. Or that we vent out our frustrations about life on IRC. But I won't have it any other way. For truly, if I cut him off my life, I would be miserable.
I just tell myself repeatedly:
"You know you sincerely love someone when you want them to be happy ... Even if their happiness means you're not part of it"

But before I go, I decided to change my template yet again. Wala lang! =)

Joke Time
Yes I am cranky, irritable and swamped with work but when I saw these in my inbox they really made me laugh out loud.  

"So what do you do?"
That's the question I dread hearing the most.
Why? Because it triggers my bad mood.
My answer - I'm a freelancer.
They'd retort: "Buti ka pa, sa bahay ka lang."
"Well how nice, you just stay at home"

In principle, I AM a web designer.
I say that because it sounds glamorous.
But I haven't created any websites in ages.
In essence, I'm a work at home typist for an online company. I get assignments on the 1st day of each month. I only get paid for the ones I finish. How many assignments I do depends entirely on me. I submit them on Mondays within a certain time period.
It sounds good on paper.
In theory though it is the complete opposite.
Because working from home means:
I don't have an air conditioned office.
I can't make small talk during coffee breaks.
I don't have a social life.
I can't leave my work at the office.

You see, in the whole scheme of things, I ALSO need to do: The house work. The laundry. Answer phone calls. Pay the bills.
Cook meals. Million never ending tasks.
As well as distractions like film festivals. TV shows. My couch potato habits. Juggling them all together. Time is precious!

My sister also works from home.
The building we live in doesn't have the proper infrastructure for a DSL connnection. So I make do with dial up. I can't go online in case important faxes come in. Thus I work during the wee hours of the morning. I also help her by transcribing her taped interviews. I check her emails when she is out of station. Answer her phone calls. Basically acting as her assistant.

So most of the time, I feel like a zombie.
Not knowing whether I'm coming or going.
Seeing Thursdays morph into Fridays.
The weekends a blur.
It can get pretty overwhelming.
This routinary cacophony of deadlines.
Sleepless nights, eye bags, dry hair, bad skin.

So for people to merely shrug their shoulders to sarcastically tell me "Sa bahay ka lang, parati?". For them to dismiss what I do to earn a living like it isn't a big deal at all.
Well that really really pisses me off.

The truth is I love what I do. I love my life.
And no one has the right to make me feel inadequate. Enough said!!!

Movie Magic
This past month I watched films about:
Widows - TV 5
Los Angeles
Grifters - rental
Memory Implants - rental
Infidelity - Belgian Film Festival
Immigrants - Belgian Film Festival
Internet Dating
Identity Crisis *written in French*
A jack of all trades - CineManila
Another immigrant story - TV 5

I posted my reviews on my other blog. Just click on the movies if you want to read them. If you rather not, then fine, whatever!
I am not in a good mood because blah blah blah and more blah!
Argh never mind!

Smiley
Yehey!!! One of my favorite rock bands, BON JOVI is releasing their new album, next month! I saw the video of their first track on MTV. The song entitled "Have a Nice Day" is catchy. Quite reminiscent of their popular old hits. It features a smiley face that spreads across the whole city.






Take a look around you,
look it's what he sees.
We're living in a broken
home of hopes and dreams,
Let me be the first to shake a helping hand.
Everybody, pray enough to take a stand,
I knocked on every door,
on every dead end street,
Looking for forgiveness,
what's left to believe?
Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
It gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
Im gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond,
rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge,
show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.

Optical illusion
Lufthansa 747-400 and a United 757-200 are on a simultaneous landing approach on the parallel runways 28L and 28R at SFO.
Real runway separation is 225 meters. Due to the telephoto distortion, the Jumbo 747 being 3 times larger than the 757 and being behind it, gives us this fantastic optical illusion that they are flying inches from each other!

It's 1:29 AM
Have I been online for 15 hours? Yes
Was I able to get any work done? NO
Did I blog hop like a rabbit? Yes
Did I reply to all my emails? Yes
Did I download more Rockstar mp3s? Yes
Did I watch trailers of upcoming movies? Definitely.
Am I wasting too much time online? Absolutely Not.

I am an internet junkie.
I am proud to admit it.

But even junkies need their rest.
I better log off before I get sore eyes.

Good Night, Bonne Nuit, Magandang Gabi, Bonne Noit, Buenas Noche! =)

The week that was
Monday - Dad's 69th birthday
We all had sumptuous Chinese food at Shanghai Bistro in Greenwood City, Libis. We feasted on boneless lemon chicken, beef with broccoli, salt & pepper fried beancurd, assorted seafood soup, shark's fin with shredded chicken soup, Singapore style noodles and jellyfish with century egg. Coffee with dessert was at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf also in Libis.
Then it was over to Edsa Shangri-la Plaza to watch the 5pm show of "Must Love Dogs" To cap the evening, we had Italian fare at Trattoria Gourmet. Their fettucine with shrimps & scallops is to die for.
So yummilicious!!!

Tuesday - Obnoxious Jerk Day
I met a friend for lunch so we could update each other on our lives since it has been ages. To my surprise, she brought along a guy she wanted to set me up with. The guy was polite at making small talk. But after my friend returned to her office, things got ugly. He turned into this moralising, ultra righteous, obnoxious jerk. Tearing to pieces every moral fiber of my being, making rude remarks about my lifestyle. He maligned me being single at my age, for not wanting to be a mother, that I would never be a complete woman. It wasn't pleasant at all. I tried to reason out. I tried to defend myself. It was futile. I was only stressing myself out. You would think that your friends of all people would know what kind of guys you are attracted to. But NO! They insist they know what's best for me. Total exasperation!
In order to calm myself down, I watched another film with subtitles on the last day of the Belgian film festival. So the day wasn't completely ruined for me. Thank God!

Wednesday - Rockstar: INXS Day
With only 7 contestants left, the heat is on. Jordis totally murdered Aerosmith's "Dream On". Mig's original composition "Do or Die" sounded like a Bon Jovi song. Deanna's rendition of her own composition was soulful. Marty with his manic, screaming version of "I, Alone" was freaky. JD's "Cold as Ice" was a bit flat. Ty (with back up vocals from Suzie, Jordis & Deanna) dancing to "Proud Mary" totally rocked. But my favorite was Suzie's version of "Start me up" by the Rolling Stones. I notice she is getting better each week.
The bottom 3 episode was very emotional since all of them are good in their own right. I was sad to see Deanna go, I loved her husky deep voice. It should have been Jordis.


Thursday - Shopping Spree Day
It wasn't about me, ok? I was just tagging along with my sister who really needed to shop for corporate wear. She currently got a big project which entails her to shuttle between Davao and Manila. We proceeded to Glorieta, going through all the shops like a whirlwind. Next stop, SM Makati. Last opportunity, Landmark because it was getting late. By the end of the day, I ended up buying 2 blouses. My sister bought 3 pairs of shoes. It's funny really, I wasn't going to buy anything. I only wanted to watch more foreign films at Greenbelt. She, on the other hand, already has a lot of shoes we are running out of space for them. But it sure felt good to burn money like there was no tomorrow. Therapeutic. Pure stress reliever!

Friday - All quiet on the homefront Day
My sister left for Davao this morning. Thus I'm all alone here. I will TRY to get some semblance of order to this chaotic place. Then TRY finally to get some work done today and over the weekend. "TRY" being the imperative word here.
Oh check this out - the Chicken Little trailers. Ain't it the cutest thing ever? =)