Ang sama ba natin? (Are we bad?)
That's what E asked me earlier.
When I told her I didn't go to our friend's baby christening.
And neither did she.
I don't think we were bad.
I don't know about her.
But I didn't feel like going.
I simply wasn't in the mood.
Till last night I was still making up my mind.
Whether to go or not.
I totally forgot to buy a gift.
Maybe that's the reason why.
I stayed up all night chatting with someone.
I got carried away and slept at 7am.
This morning my sister woke me up.
It was already 10:30 am by then.
And the reception was at 11.
So I said no I won't go na lang.
Don't get me wrong, I am really glad she had a baby.
But it wasn't in my best interest to be reminded that I am still single without a husband and no baby to baptise.
Does that make me selfish?
Does that make me a 'bad' friend?
I really don't know.
Frankly I don't care.

Virtual Reality
Since I basically don't have a life, I amuse myself by chatting online.
Not as often as I used to but I indulge myself from time to time.
So I've essentially heard everything on those chat channels.
But I was totally dumbstruck when he said:

[Nick^^] God...you are excruciatingly beutiful :)
[Nick^^] beautiful.....I can so spell... :)
[Me] tsk tsk how many times do I have to tell you? I ain't beautiful
[Nick^^] I will tell you what you is...and what you ain't... :)
[Nick^^] I have always told you that you are cuter.....than most everyone! :)

If only!
I can find someone in real life to tell me that!
I would marry him right away and make wonderful babies!
Despite being a nonbeliever of marriage and having no maternal instincts whatsoever!

*Sighs*

Quotes, Poems and Funnies
Got this quote on my cellphone today
What is love?
Those who don't like it ... call it responsibility.
Those who play with it ... call it a game.
Those who don't have it ... call it a dream.
And those who understand ... call it destiny!
All I can say to that is ... Amen!

Speaking of love, contrary to an earlier post, I haven't watched Before Sunset, yet. Something came up and I had to cancel my plan.

Alright so it seems GWB just got re-elected.
Oh well ain't that grand? (insert sarcasm here!)
Practically everyone I've chatted with told me it was time for a change. Quite unfortunate!

I found out by surfing intensively where an ex (5 times over LOL) gets those really funny emails which he forwards to me.
This site has really cool ads from all over the world and this one contains silly but hilarious videos! Enjoy!

A poem by Baudelaire
A une passante
La rue assourdissante autour de moi hurlait.
Longue, mince, en grand deuil, douleur majestueuse,
Une femme passa, d'une main fastueuse
Soulevant, balancant le feston et l'ourlet;

Agile et noble, avec sa jambe de statue.
Moi, je buvais, crispe comme un extravagant,
Dans son oeil, ciel livide ou germe l'ouragan,
La douceur qui fascine et le plaisir qui tue.

Un eclair .. puis la nuit! - Fugitive beaute
Dont le regard m'a fait soudainement renaitre,
Ne te verrai-je plus que dans l'eternite?

Ailleurs, bien loin d'ici! trop tard!
jamais peut-etre!
Car j'ignore ou tu fuis, tu ne sais ou je vais,
O toi que j'eusse aimee, o toi qui le savais!

-----------------------------------------------
To A Woman Passerby
The deafening street howled around me.
Tall, thin, in full mourning - majestic sorrow -
A woman passed, with a stately hand
Lifting and swinging her widow's reeds and her hem,

Agile and noble, with the foot of a statue.
As for myself, clenched like a madman, I drank
From her eyes - pale sky giving birth to the hurricane -
Sweetness that mesmerizes and pleasure that kills.

A bolt of lightning ... Then night! Fugitive beauty
Whose glance suddenly brought me back to life,
Will I see you again only in eternity?

Somewhere else, so far from here! Too late! Never, perhaps!
For I do not know where you are fleeing, you do not know where I am going,
Oh you whom I could have loved, oh you who knew this!

Gift giving dilemma
I think it is rather unfair for single people to continually give gifts.
Let me explain.
The moment a friend gets engaged, the events to celebrate the subsequent occasions would warrant gifts.
First you have the bridal shower then the wedding itself.
Soon after comes the baby shower.
Once the infant is born, you need the binyag (baptism) gift.
So in a span of several months, one must be rich enough to shelve gifts for all these very important occasions or simply be deemed as a cheapstake.
And they said that being single was fun.
How come we single people don't get gifts for the following occasions:
I.survived.a.horrible.first.date.gift
I.just.broke.up.with.my.bf.gift
the.I'm.now.celibate.not.by.choice.gift
I know ... I know .... I am being very cheap.
But hey I do raise a valid point right?

Weekend Recap
It has always been a tradition for my family to visit our dead relatives.
One day before All Souls' Day. (November 1)
But this year we started on October 30.
We drove all the way to Cavite for my father's side of the family.
Whole bunch of relatives I haven't seen in ages, of all shapes, sizes and ages congregate at the ancestral house.
The food is delicious but it's the endless conversations and catching up with each other that really makes the trip worthwhile.
Even if it means I'm asked the 64M dollar question "When are you getting married?" endlessly.
Never mind the fact that I'm not really seeing anyone right now.
They make it sound like it is a matter of national interest.

Sunday - it was back to Manila to visit the graves of my maternal grandparents in Sucat, an uncle in San Juan and more maternal relatives in Mandaluyong.
Hot, humid and I notice I've grown darker from staying out in the sun the whole day.
But it's only once a year and I really enjoy these sort of 'visits'.
My only lament is that people don't pay their respects to their beloved dead relatives religiously nowadays.
It is heartbreaking to see tombstones without any candles or flowers.
But hey I guess some people have better things to do .... like frolic in beaches, attend Halloween parties or get drunk at Octoberfest parties.
Yes I know I can be a prude sometimes ... or is it most of the time?
No! Don't answer that!

Happiness is

Laughing heartily to funny emails.

Being amused by silly inane websites such as this, this too and check if you can spot the difference between the pictures in this one!

Watching "Before Sunrise" DVD on a rainy Thursday evening tucked under my quilt. As a preview to watching the sequel tomorrow at Rockwell.

Knowing that Amazing Race 6 is about to start soon.

Planning out of town trips in the coming months!

Yes I know it's kinda boring but I'm happy ... So there!

LSS
I've always known about this song.
I've heard different versions of it.
But after watching "Love Actually" 4 times now, Joni Mitchell's version consumes me.
The lyrics are piercing words to a calming melody.
Her voice is enchantingly haunting.
The song floats lingering in my mind!

Both Sides Now
Bows and flows of angel hair
and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere,
I've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun,
they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done
but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels,
the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real;
I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show.
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know,
don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud
to say I love you right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds,
I've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's
gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all.