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Cuteness! =)

Snooze Fest

I'm a person who likes (to) sleep.
Although I admit I do have a difficult time falling asleep.
Unlike some people (like my husband) who start dozing off the minute their heads hit the pillow, it would take me several minutes for deep slumber to set in.
I've tried many ways to induce instant sleep.
I would read. Pray. Reflect. Take a shower right before bed time.
Not necessarily in that order. But nothing worked.

Lately though I notice a significant change in my sleeping habits.

Nowadays at night, I would be in bed at 11:30pm.
I would wake up at around 9 am.
Then sleep again in the afternoon after lunch.
Well not immediately on a full stomach.
But any time from 3:30 pm to about 5:20pm would be my nap time.

I don't know why I'm sleepy all the time.
Probably because I have more time to rest. D is always home for the summer school holidays. He is very handy with household chores so he completely takes over.
Bless him!
Or maybe it is this rainy weather which is a big respite from the stifling heat.
It is way better to fall asleep when it rains than tossing and turning in sticky humid conditions with no aircon in sight.

But whatever the reason, I welcome this snooze fest with glee!

Bathrooms

The mental picture in my mind when it comes to my dream house doesn't flash extravagance in big bold letters. I want it to exude practicality, functionality as well as comfort with an essence of cozy and homey vibes.

But for me, I certainly won't mind going overboard by splurging on the bathrooms. I like my bathrooms big and spacious like those exquisite bathrooms you find in luxurious 5 star hotels.
My ideal bathroom would have those transparent sliding door showers along with a large bathtub for bubble baths. Big counter tops to hold all my toiletries, a clean marble sink which contain modern taps with hot and cold water provisions. As well as clearly defined mirrors in all the strategic places. Shiny towel racks and elegant bathroom furniture to enclose all the fresh towels and also some bathroom supplies.

Well you get my drift. Heck if money wasn't an issue I would even place a jacuzzi in my bathroom. A nice warm soak in a bubbly jacuzzi at the end of a tiring day would be oh so very relaxing!

Betterbathrooms.com's website got me all flushed with fresh ideas on how to decorate my dream bathroom(s) in my dream house.

Too bad it is just a dream!

11th month

A few days ago during the Holy Week, I was just flipping channels on TV for want of something to amuse my bored spirit. I came across one of those talks by Bo Sanchez. It was a compilation of his seminar/lectures which are shown on TV. So I checked out his website and read some of his articles. I was particularly intrigued by his e-book called "God's Dreams". He mentions that there are three important things you need to become a great success in life: "Desire", "Belief" and "Action".

Today I celebrate my 11th month as a married woman. Yes time does fly by so fast. Since the beginning of this year, we have been actively trying to conceive. By active I mean I feel that I am "somewhat" ready for the task of motherhood. I do have my doubts if we or more specifically *I* am up to the task. My fears keep me up at nights especially during these really hot, warm summer nights.

Questions abound. "What if I am too old to conceive?" "Can we afford to bring a human being into this world?" "Would our baby be healthy considering my age?" "How long do we keep trying?" "Would he still love me if we can't have a child?"

Now back to the 3 important factors and their impact vis a vis my dream to be a mother. (my thoughts are in italics)

1. Desire
You need to want your dream from the depths of your soul. How intensely do you desire your dream? How deeply do you want it to happen? Many people don’t achieve their dreams because they don’t want it bad enough.

This haunting thought consumes me a lot. I wonder if I *want* it bad enough. People who know me also know that I have always been a free spirited, independent minded person. I fear that having a child would curtail my restless soul. I figure I need to condition myself doubly hard and let go of my selfish nature!

2. Belief
Belief is nothing else but a feeling of certainty. The more certain you feel that you can accomplish your dream, the faster you can make them a reality. Many people don’t achieve their dreams because in their heart of hearts, they doubt they can really do it.

This goes without saying. The endless crying, the sleepless nights, its effects on my body, to be totally responsible for another person - I wonder if I am up to the maternal task.

3. Action
Albert Einstein said, “Nothing happens unless something moves.” Successful people aren’t the most knowledgeable people on earth. But you can be totally sure that all of them have a bias for action. Many people don’t achieve their dreams because they know but they don’t act.

Now this very important aspect is what has been the main hurdle in my aim to achieve my dream. I know that I need to get another check up. A year ago, my doctor told me I need to consult her again in order to better my chances of conception. Yet I keep postponing it in the belief that nature would take its course. But so far, we haven't been successful and I have no one else to blame but myself for my inaction. Which brings us back to the first part that maybe just maybe I don't want it bad enough?

Oh well.

I will keep our fingers crossed. Stay on the positive path. And yes finally push myself to go for that check up, sooner than soon!

So help me, God.

Visita Iglesia

A regular reader of this blog would know that the main event (for me) during the Lenten season is the Visita Iglesia. The tradition of visiting as many churches as possible on the evening of Maundy Thursday. The purpose is to pray for petitions (or whatever your heart desires) in front of the Blessed Sacrament which lies in state in beautifully adorned chapels near the main altar. This Lenten vigil lasts until midnight. This is an annual tradition for my family since I was a little child and it was only interrupted when we lived abroad.

This year with my dear sister now based in Singapore, we decided to limit the number of churches we will visit. For the simple reason that my father has difficulty driving at night with his poor eyesight.

We first heard mass at the church where I normally sweat up a storm, St. Francis which is located near the Edsa Shangri-la Mall. It is a pretty wide church but its ventilation system in the presence of electric fans hanging from the ceiling doesn't do much in terms of relieving the humid summer climate for me, the one with the really active sweat glands. As usual, we were super early for the 5pm mass (Mom likes to be early, always) so we had great seats. From the 3rd row we had full view of the washing of the feet rites during the Eucharistic Mass.

Our next stop was the Sanctuario de Santo Cristo. The church of my youth as it is located just a few blocks away from the high school where I had to finish an extra year (grade 7)! I wasn't accelerated directly to first year High School. Reason - I only spoke English with a French accent and naturally I failed my Filipino class. Ha! The mass wasn't over yet so they didn't allow cars to enter the church premises. We ended up parking at a side street near the entrance of the small cemetery located behind this massive edifice. The church was full so we just stood at the back where we had a nice view of the procession where they take the Holy Eucharist to the adoration chapel at the left side of the church. It turns out most of the prayle este the priests in that Church are Spaniards! I felt like I was still living in the "Noli Me Tangere" era. :D

From San Juan if you proceed towards Kalentong, cross Shaw Boulevard and simply go straight, straight ahead you eventually reach the Santa Ana Church. A special and memorable part of our lives because 40 years ago my parents said their wedding vows there. The Blessed Sacrament is located at the garden arena at the back of the Church. It is my favorite Blessed Sacrament setting because it exudes this garden of Gethsemane vibe. The floral arrangement is very simple. It is dimly lit and you can really pray intimately without being distracted by a thousand things.

The 4th stop was the San Felipe Neri Parish Church which is located at the end of Boni Avenue. Solemn Gregorian chants emanate from the Blessed Sacrament Adoration sight. It echoes throughout the bamboo dome of this edifice. On our way out of the church, we caught a glimpse of a procession complete with roving statues of the Virgin Mary, the Black Nazarene and some saints being trailed by devoted parishioners.

Our final stop was at the circle of the Mandaluyong city hall to get to the Shrine of the Divine Mercy. We made 2 rounds of the roundabout before getting a parking space. The Blessed Sacrament is displayed downstairs so you don't have to climb those steep stairs to the main church. It is nicely enclosed in an air conditioned environment with convenient sliding doors to serve as entrance and exit points. A cosy solemn place to pray while the sweat cascading down my back got a reprieve from the hot humid air.

By the time we were done, it was only around 8pm! A far cry from our usual sojourn which would end at around midnight. But Dad was already tired from parking and driving in inadequately lighted street conditions and we fully understood his limitations. We ended the evening with dinner at Jollibee, filling our stomachs with two piece burger steaks and rice for nourishment.

D & I decided to spend the night at the condo with the parents instead of venturing all the way back to the "projects". I slept soundly in my former room with the aircon at full blast. I was content after an evening of solemnity and prayerful gratitude. Along with a silent wish that the Good Lord grant my humble petitions in whatever form He deems it will fit me because Thy Will Be Done.

The bedroom

The most important room in our home (aside from the 'computer room') is the main bedroom. I try to keep it simple with only the basic essentials to give it a neat, clean look. Basically, I adhere to the minimalist approach in house decoration. My taste veers towards rustic furniture. Strong wood furnishings give out a feeling of being one with nature.

Scenic furniture guarantees good craftsmanship and their items are made from strong wood like oak, cedar and hickory. My favorite item in their collection is their 3 drawer red oak hickory barn wood dresser. Its robust exterior exudes a vintage vibe. I like how its crimson hue ejects some lively color to an otherwise dull bedroom. After all, you have to admit it - vibrant furnishings certainly spice up the most preferred room in the house.

Holy Week

Let me take this opportunity to wish everyone a meaningful Lenten break. Wherever you may find yourself this Holy week, be it at the beach basking under the hot sun, exploring new sights on your Lenten vacation or simply savoring the traffic less roads of the metropolis (like me and I ain't complaining one bit!) kindly reflect on the true meaning of Lent. =)

A terrible case of LSS (last song syndrome)

This hit song by the band "Fastball" is currently my LSS. You know that weird condition when a certain song keeps playing over and over and over in your head. "Fastball" is a band based in Austin, Texas and they gained some valuable air time in the early 90s with some of their songs like "The Way" and "Out of my Head" from their album "All the Pain Money can Buy".

I'm guessing this song could be an indication of several things. It might or might not necessarily reflect how I feel about my life right now. Sometimes I feel like (my) life is composed of a string of "waiting game" scenarios. I'm not even sure this song depicts that nagging feeling of always waiting, waiting and waiting some more for something concrete to happen. Either that or I can always blame the standard culprit - PMS! A much more terrible syndrome which I am hoping against hope won't manifest itself (yet again) this month.

Out Of My Head



Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Was I out of my head?
Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too!