Who would have thought?

My transformation from a sarcastic, cynical I.will.never.marry spoiled brat to an excited, happy bride to be is phenomenal. A year ago, I would be the first person to scoff and snicker whenever I saw long queues at bridal fairs. But yesterday, I registered online so I don't have to pay the admission fee to the Dream Weddings - Before I Do Year 2 at Megatrade Hall 3, SM Megamall, this weekend. Surreal!

In other news (still wedding related), it seems that I would have to deal with my in laws after all. Last Sunday, I was able to talk to D's mother, his younger brother and his family in the US. It was an interesting phone conversation. I got some dirt on D's personality courtesy of his family - that was fun to hear! But I didn't expect the whole brood's definite plan to attend the wedding, next year. Eeeps. I understand they are excited about D finally getting married but it seems our guest list (and expenses) will have to be further stretched beyond our limited budget. D even joked "it is nice of them to come for the wedding. But instead of spending for their airfare, they can just remit the money so we can use it to renovate the house" Hey don't look at me, he was the one who said it, the idea never crossed my mind, really ... I just laughed.

These days there are only two things that occupy my scattered brain. Wedding preparations and making money by writing sponsored posts.

Bloggerwave is the latest company I've signed up with to increase my earnings. It is Europe's biggest advertising media on blogs. You get paid for blogging. There are three types of post you can select : Buzz, Review and Opinion. A bright well maintained interface on their website makes it easy for any blogger to join their growing network. After you have registered, you can add up to 5 blogs. You have a limitless amount of opportunities to choose from to be posted on any of your blogs. But a single blog cannot take a single opportunity more than once. Plus you have the option to write posts in different languages. A good way to practice your language skills. So come and join the wave, the Bloggerwave!

Let there be light

I have this particular quirk that restaurants need to be brightly lit or else I won't eat there. This attitude also extends to my home. My surroundings especially my work place needs to be well illuminated. One of the items I check out when I go to home stores are lamps. I can spend one whole day just admiring these house fixtures.

Farreys.com offers a wide variety of lamps. It is a one stop online lighting store. You can browse through categories from price range, by brand, style, finish to different types like table lamps and torchieres which are indoor portable lighting which you can move to any area. Take your pick, put it into your shopping cart, fill in your payment details and have it shipped right to your house. How very convenient! I had so much fun clicking away choosing from their wide range of lamps and lamp shades of different shapes and sizes, function and colors. There are thousands of lamps to choose from, it is mind boggling!

I intend to bring all my lamps to my new 'home' so it will be bright and cheerful. D just needs to brace himself once he sees our electricity bill. Teehee!

First Step!

I told myself I won't let this week past without making at least one booking for my wedding. I've been making phone calls to churches inquiring about the requirements, the cost and the procedure. All these pieces of information, I diligently write in a notebook.

Yesterday, I dragged D to accompany me for a look see at a couple of churches. Our plan was to meet at around 2:30pm so we would have enough time to check out 2 churches. It turns out his family called long distance and they had quite a lengthy phone call. After all, they are excited too with the news of our nuptials. So by the time he finally showed up at 3:45 pm, I gave myself an ulcer. My mind went into panic mode as per my calculations, we won't make it to either of the churches. The traffic situation being horrendous in our beloved nation.

We get to Villa San Miguel (The Archbishop's Palace) just before 4:30pm. We had to wait a few minutes for the concerned person to attend to our inquiries. Actually, this visit was just to get an idea of the area. Frankly I wasn't too keen on it knowing that they don't provide a priest to officiate at the ceremony. It was already 5:20pm when we got to our second choice. We just took a chance to see if they were still open. And thankfully, they were. So it is all systems go for May 15, 2008 10 AM at the San Lorenzo Ruiz chapel, Shrine of Mary, Queen of Peace. The date when the most eligible bachelor in Q.C weds the most eligible bachelorette in M.C! he he he (crazy joke D came up with!)

Woohooo!!!

I signed up for PPP

I've heard/read all the buzz about Payperpost from several bloggers. They were raving how easy it was and how much they have earned writing sponsored posts. You simply write reviews/opinions about different items and products on your blog, wait a few days for approval. Once it is confirmed, you get paid through Paypal. The payment scheme facility though kept me away. But once things eased up, I immediately signed up for PPP.

To distract my mind from the wedding arrangements, I have been spending a few minutes each day to familiarize myself with the mechanics involved in PayperPost. I have been reading and learning how to submit opportunities, checking out the different tools available that will help boost the traffic rankings of my blog. As well as browsing other bloggers site to see previews of sponsored posts. PPP's website is easy to navigate. It contains all the relevant information which new posties would find useful. Besides I'm a fast learner so I am confident I will be successful. I was delighted to learn this morning that my blog finally got approved. Yay. Now, I'm excited! I look forward to writing reviews and getting paid for it. I intend to save my earnings so I can buy household items for D's place. Ooops I meant our place.

Alert: major emotional roller coaster post ahead

In some previous post I mentioned my way of dealing with stressful situations is to cry. Well true to form, I had a nervous breakdown, the other night. Ok so it was more like the wee hours of the morning. After my nightly phone call to D, I sat on a small stool in my sister's office. We started discussing my wedding plans and my married life thereafter.

The thing is I have no problems at all with D. I have known since the very beginning what he could offer, what to expect or not to expect from him. I had my doubts if *I* could adapt to his lifestyle and kept changing the topic whenever he mentioned the M word. Yet as the months went by, I was willing to compromise and in the process I conditioned myself. Now I'm confident I am ready to face the task ahead. I credit it largely to D's laissez faire attitude, his optimistic outlook on life and his genuinely nurturing ways. Sa Tagalog, ang gaan gaan ng pakiramdam ko pag kasama ko si D.

But it has been very difficult for me to explain to my family my desire to settle down. The family who has raised me for 39 years. The family that has blessed me with material and emotional support unconditionally. The family who is now supporting me in full force. The family that overwhelms me in their need to make my transition into married life as comfortable as possible.

I know that it is all my fault. In my usual protectively guarded style about my romantic involvements, I don't tell them about D's lifestyle. I wanted to shield my family from the disappointment. I didn't want them to expect too much from D. I wanted D to feel welcome by my family. Of course they have welcomed him with open arms. For me to open up to my family was pretty daunting and vice versa. I understand my family's concerns considering the fact that I don't openly discuss any aspects of my relationship with D. So I was emotionally troubled yet kept up a brave front in view of all the arrangements I had (have) to deal with.

The tears started to roll down my cheeks when I told my sister, everything. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I let it all out. My sister who believe me has her plate totally full and overflowing with a million things bore the full brunt of my emotional meltdown. Really embarrassing yet very cathartic for me. A major stress reliever. I aired my concerns, my fears, my excitement, my happiness. So after that tearful episode, things have toned down quite a bit. I don't let the interrogation sessions bother me anymore. I feel much better. I sleep better. I've regained my appetite. I panic less. I smile more. I just need to take one baby step at a time and relax more. I should probably spend less time reading http://www.kasal.com and actually go out and make the darn bookings already! Teehee =)

Linky love chain

I got snared in this love chain by Girlie.The rules are simple - When you get tagged ... you have to add your name next to people who had done the tag and and let the list grow!

Limadang.com

RamblingMoo.com

blogginginmypyjamas

StylewithPassion

Chinneeq

Dora-zooropazoo

Babyshern

HiPnCooLMoMMa

Daphne Laura

Let’s keep the list growing, so more and more people will discover our blogs. I'm tagging:

Wil

Kayni

Denden

Vanessa

Em Dy

Formality's sake

D and I have been talking about marriage on and off the past few months. But I haven't had the chance to officially tell my parents about our plans. They aren't the type of parents who would question me openly about the state of my relationships. I guess they trust me enough to do the right thing so I've never discussed any of my romantic relationships with them. Well yesterday, we finally had the courage to formally announce our engagement/plans to settle down.

The night before, D and I rehearsed a number of scenarios on how to introduce the topic over lunch. Some were downright funny, others were silly, most were serious. I stressed myself out, kept tossing and turning in bed which prevented me from getting a good night sleep. I woke up early (for me anyway) barely ate my breakfast, took a quick shower then went to hear the 11 AM Sunday mass at the Edsa Shrine with my parents and D. I couldn't concentrate and broke out in a cold sweat (yes I know the church is air conditioned but still you know what I mean), several times.

My brilliant idea was to tell my parents during lunch at Teriyaki Boy. You know during that lull when we wait for our orders to arrive. But we couldn't do it. Blah. Ha ha ha! We ordered, the food came in rapid succession. We ate, glanced at each other sheepishly, ate some more (well I barely touched my food, preferring instead to drown myself with iced tea) talked about everything under the sun except the main issue at hand! My hands were literally shaking and my stomach was in knots. I was a nervous wreak. Occasionally, D and I would look at each other, smile and secretly hoped the other one would finally blurt it out to end our misery.

After the waiter cleared our table of our plates, I took a big gulp of my iced tea, took a very deep breath, looked my mother straight in the eyes and finally just blurted it out. "Ah Ma, Dad we have something to announce. We are planning to get married na next year!" *Big smile* My parents had this blank look on their face like my statement didn't register. D quickly said something to support my announcement. To say they were surprised is an understatement but they welcomed the good news with glee. My father gave the thumbs up sign. My mother was in shock and tried desperately not to cry as we were in a public place. Later that night, my parents kept saying that the announcement was slowly sinking in like some sort of delayed reaction. But the feedback has been mostly positive. I guess it has to do with the fact they like D immensely for he has always accorded them the respect they deserve.

After that announcement, I felt tremendous relief like a huge burden was taken off my chest. The interrogation part though started in the car and went on high alert when we got home. It was further compounded when I went online to read websites on the numerous requirements even for a simple Church wedding. D keeps telling me to relax and not stress myself out he will help me with everything but I can't really help it, I'm a worry wart, remember?

But overall, my parents are very enthusiastic, quite excited and have given me their full support. My beloved sister is the only one who dares to ask the hard nosed questions. She raises the issues I've been desperately trying to sweep under the rug, so to speak. She does have very valid concerns. I truly understand where she is coming from. I like to believe she merely means well and in due time I hope she would eventually ease up on me and D. But don't get me wrong, she is also very supportive. She serves as my shock absorber, my anchor and my rock. I know I can depend on her for anything, anytime, anywhere, forever!

I am currently a ball filled with mixed emotions. I'm ready, happy, confident, panic stricken, apprehensive and fearful yet I've never been more sure about finally finding the person I will grow old with. D has been such a wonderful supportive presence in my life and I couldn't ask for more! He was the one who pointed out that yesterday, November 11 was our 5th month anniversary. I was so stressed and freaked out I totally forgot about it.

Now excuse me as I finally have some private alone time so I can have a good cry over this whole thing. You know just to let it all sink in, cry away my worries, my fears and of course some happy tears as well.